pastebinmonday 28/10/19 (mirror)

it's monday and oh boy things are a mess! this one is gonna be long, just warnin' ya in advance.

so i tweeted out a few days ago that i'm already moving again and i've been hellishly busy packing and whatnot again, and that i'd give the full story on pastebinmonday this week, so here it goes.

basically, from the second i've gotten this place, i've been having trouble with some extra-shitty neighbours. the first thing i noticed about them was their tendency to place trash in their front yard, like they're some kind of rat people, but rare for me i shrugged and figured "hey, one bad trait ain't make a bad person, y'know?"

...i should've followed my gut on this one. people who know me for like three seconds know i'm a cynical asshole, but i've really been trying to be more positive about life, my surroundings, and other people. but as life both reminds and proves to me once again, some people are not deserving of kind assumptions being made of them.

but not only that, even suspecting they were pretty trashy from the get-go, i figured hey, i can handle it. i came from a shitty street, it's just ONE shitty neighbour, how bad can it be, right? hahahaha... ha. it's a unit with a shared driveway, for one. they block my entrance/exit fucking constantly, they have a loud as fuck beater car, they work on it right outside my windows, they have random visitors all the time and are in-and-out all the time slamming doors and shouting as late as 3AM, and i'm pretty sure by this point that they're drug dealers. it's not even worth listing it all, though i DO have a list since i extensively documented everything that's been happening.

i honestly didn't feel the best about a confrontation with these people, being that they're extremely trashy and behave without regard to their surroundings - it's not that i was scared of them on a personal level (the dude next door looks like he spends his food budget on drugs and might snap in half like a twig if there's a stiff breeze,) but there's a lot of ways to hurt someone indirectly and i dreaded something like them poisoning my dog when i went out if i rocked the boat too much.

i tried my best to settle things through proper means via complaints to the appropriate agencies, but even though it was "handled discreetly" they definetely know it was me, as they decided to get in touch with my landlord and file some bullshit complaints of their own, that i'm "aggressive" (i've barely spoken to them, and i'm a pretty quiet dude irl) and that i smoke on the property (i don't smoke at all.) thankfully i left a good impression on both my landlord and real estate agent, and everyone knows they're full of shit and just laughed about it.

so the good news in all this is, my landlord is furious with them and has decided to let me off the hook on the lease, no penalties. not only that, but my real estate agent is trying their hardest to find me a new place ASAP because i really do have concerns now that they know i've made complaints about them. i don't feel safe here, and am getting things packed as fast as i can handle, and probably a bit beyond what i can handle honestly.

not gonna lie, things are a shitshow right now. i'm trying to keep my head up through this and i *am* pretty happy with the outcome (i was distraught thinking i'd be stuck here for at least a year) but it's just... i practically just finished unpacking, and i like this place and i don't think i'll get another one as nice, and the neighbourhood is really nice minus these trashy motherfuckers. i'm getting my "real" net connection and not this 4G dogshit that doesn't really work on the 31st and now i'm gonna have to give it up and probably wait ANOTHER five weeks.

i'm up to my ears in things to do and while progress is good and things are feeling a little lighter since i don't feel stuck, when i finally sit down to relax (and then get pissed off about this shit net connection) i kinda just slump into depression, so i just go right back to working on it until i literally collapse and need to sleep. there's so much to handle logistically that i feel like i can't get a grasp on it all, so i'm kinda just ripping it off chunk by chunk crudely with my bare hands and hoping i don't fuck anything up.

it's also not like this situation isn't going to cost me ANYTHING, either, even though i am glad to dodge the penalties. the only reason i'm not furious at them over this is that i've already been furious at them over it for the last month. i cannot overstate that they've made my life here pretty miserable, i didn't really mention anything about it last pastebin 'cause i was trying to keep this positive "hey look at the upsides" vibe going but to be real, it sucks. it sucks so hard because i DO feel those positive things, and these shit for brains who honestly probably nothing will happen to RUINED it.

i feel kind of like i'm falling apart, but instead of letting the pieces fall to the floor i've like wrapped myself up in cling wrap and am shambling about, a mess of pieces being held together by inertia. hopefully the next place is better and this is all worth it, because last move i was eating pretty well and still lost like 5kg over the course of a week and a half, and this time without getting into the specifics of logistics it's probably going to be harder.

but yea that's the gist of it. i'm really not doing too well at the moment, to be honest. i'm trying my hardest, but if i even sit down to try to stop my mind and body racing for a second i'm instantly bombarded with how crap i feel about this situation, so i just don't stop. on the upside, it's a state of being that has me getting things done at a ferocious speed, so that's something. i just worry what the end looks like when there's nothing left to do. both thankfully and unfortunately, that's a long way off.

OTHER THINGS: art production has obviously taken a nosedive and in the craziness of moving again painting has become impossible. i will try to get another pencil piece done at some point so i can at least chuck something up, they're not as good (in my opinion) as my paintings but are much less time consuming.

learning welsh is going well, i've been watching a welsh cooking show called becws mostly focuses on baking and cooking sweet things but i'm still picking up a few fun lil' tricks from it (like cutting the top off of garlic and putting olive oil on it and just chucking the whole thing in the oven, it like roasts it and the cloves practically just fall out.) it even has english subtitles so i can glance at them when i don't understand things!

watching something like that teaches you a lot of words you don't come across routinely in normal language learning (i quickly picked up that cymysgu means "to mix" or "mixing" for example.) similarily i stumbled across a welsh twitch streamer/youtuber called "yn chwarae" which has been fun to watch, no subtitles there though so it's a lot more challenging to gather what has been said. if i ever catch 'em live i might go in chat and be all like "shwmae, dwi'n dod o awstralia!"

i was kinda thinking at some point, both as a learning exercise and for the fun of it, to make like a podcast on youtube where i speak in welsh but subtitle the whole thing in english. i feel like i'd kinda be self-concious of speaking a language i'm reletively new at though, like i'm probably gonna fuck up somehow in pronunciaton, or sentence structure, definitely in mutations i still trip over those awkwardly. but i might anyway, 'cause it sounds like a fun project and i need a distraction.

anyway that's long enough i think haha. hope everyone is having a good week. thanks for reading.

P.S i forgot to write above and edited in: i'm pretty sure they prank called a pizza on my place last night, also. like holy shit do they have the minds of a 13 year old? as if that pisses off anyone other than the pizza place, anyway.

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